Last year, for some unknown reasons, a friend took me along to see his mentor so they could discuss about the lady he intended to marry. After exchanging pleasantries, the mentor asked him: ‘How many men are also asking this your lady friend’s hand in marriage?’ My friend shot him a questioning look and replied ‘I don’t know.’ The mentor smiled, tapped on his laptop siting majestically on the large desk and said ‘Go find out if you are the only person in line to marry her. If you are, I suggest you wait. If not, then go ahead.’ We walked out of the cool office sweating, cursing and asking questions. Today, I’ve realized what the mentor meant. He was also right.
Growing up, my senior friend shared a profound secret about women psychology. He said: If you enter a social space, don’t just rush and date any kind of woman. Sit back and target the most influential, not most beautiful, woman and become her friend – date her if you can. (The most influential is not always the most beautiful) You’ll find that many other beautiful women will begin to notice you and want you. They’ll do this not always because they like you; they will do so because of curiosity. They’ll want to know why the woman they love and adore loves you. The simple fact that you are dating the most influential, and often the most beautiful, woman in the group will automatically increase your desirability factor. This is always true.
Desirability is a very important business and life strategy. It is a human psychology. The more people want and clamor for something, the more its value rises. And increase in value, increases the level of appreciation. No one wants to get what nobody wants. No one wants to date/marry who nobody wants.
In business, one of the reasons the price of a product appreciates is tied to the level of desirability it commands in the marketplace. While taking care of my dad’s business, he would sample two different goods and tell the buyer different prices. One higher and the other lower. Then, he would tell the customer that the one with the higher price was the hottest in demand because of its quality. Meanwhile, the one with the lower price can perform exactly the same as the higher price. To my amazement, the customer would buy the goods with the higher price.
The human mind works in packs. That’s why the herd mentality is a serious thing. You almost cannot eradicate it. It doesn’t matter if the herd idea is wrong, as long as the majority of the people has accepted it, it will filter to the larger crevices of the society and become a norm.
An entrepreneur can use this phenomenon to his advantage. When pitching your services to a company, always give the impression that other bigger companies are asking, in fact begging, for your services. You’d find they will sign the contact as soon as they can. They do this because they think if company A also wants your services, then you must be good at what you do. It works every time. This is the idea behind brands using superstars as their models. A customer will love to buy the said product because if a superstar can use it, then it must be good enough to use it too. The desirability of the product increases because of the signature of a super star. This also increases its brand essence and gives the customer a pose factor among his friends.
In social media, this is why we love to read, like and comment on articles with many ‘likes’ and ‘comments’. It doesn’t matter whether, or not, the said article is making sense, we will like and comment. Our mind tells us that since many people are liking and commenting, it must be interesting. Hence we must also comment because we don’t want to be left out.
Today, I think my friend’s mentor believes in the desirability factor. If my friend was the only guy queuing to marry the lady, chances are that he might not really value her after marriage. He might not appreciate and treat her like a queen. It’s often the reason many men believe they did their wives a big favor by marrying them. No man will ever think this way if he faced big and better competition before marrying his wife. The reverse is also the case.
So guys, increase your desirability level in life and business. And see many amazing doors open for you.